Psychic Jokes
Psychic Readings
Aliens, Monsters and Ghost Jokes ALIENS What do you call a spaceship with a faulty air-conditioning unit? A frying saucer What do you get if you cross an ex-Popstar with an extra-terrestrial? Kym Martian What do aliens wear to posh weddings? Space suits What's grey, "mad for it" and lives on Mars? Alien Gallagher Did you hear about the man who was captured by extra-terrestrial teddy bears? He had a close encounter of the furred kind If Martians live on Mars and Venusians live on Venus , who lives on Pluto ? Fleas ( Pluto being Mickey Mouse's dog!) Who's long, slippery, and always phones home when he goes sightseeing? E.T. the extra tourist eel Why are aliens messy tea-drinkers? With flying saucers, it's hard not to spill it Where do Martians get their eggs? From the little green hen Why is an alien like a collection of famous actors' autographs? They've both come from the stars What do you get if you cross a Martian with a golf score? A little green bogey What are aliens' favourite sweets? Martian-mallows Did you hear about the alien who flew a spaceship from Neptune to Uranus in just 3 minutes and 21 seconds? He's listed in the Guinness Book Of Out-Of-This-World Records Why don't aliens celebrate Christmas? Because they don't like to give away their presence Who's the greatest footballer on Mars? Michael UFOwen MONSTERS How do monsters tell their future? They read their horrorscope Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers? No, they eat the fingers separately What do zombies like to eat at a cook out? Halloweenies What would a monster's psychiatrist be called? Shrinkenstein What do you call someone who puts poison in a person's corn flakes? A cereal killer Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends? They're too wrapped up in themselves What kind of streets do zombies like the best? Dead ends Did you hear about the cannibal boy that was 8 before he was 7? Did you hear about the cannibal who was expelled from school? He was buttering up his teacher What does a cannibal get when he comes home late for dinner? The cold shoulder What does a child monster call his parents? Mummy and Deady Why did the Cyclops have to close his school? He only had one pupil Which monster likes to fly kites in the rain? Benjamin Franklinstein What did the mummy say to the detective? Let's wrap this case up GHOSTS What do ghosts add to their morning cereal? Booberries What does a ghost get when he falls and scrapes his knee? A boo boo What is a baby ghost's favorite game? Peekaboo What did one ghost say to the other ghost? "Do you believe in people?" What does the papa ghost say to his family when driving? Fasten your sheet belts What do ghouls eat for breakfast? Ghost toasties with evaporated milk What is a ghost's favorite mode of transportation? A scareplane What is a ghoul's favorite flavor? Lemon & slime What do you get when you goose a ghost? A handful of sheet What kind of car does a ghost drive? A Boo-ick What did the mother ghost say to her son? Don't spook unless you are spooken to What do ghosts use to wash their hair? Sham-boo Why did the ghost pick his nose? Because he had boogers What kind of pants do ghosts wear? Boojeans Where do fasionable ghosts shop for sheets? At bootiques What ride do spirits like best at the amusement park? The roller ghoster What do you get when you cross a ghost with an owl? Something that scares people and doesn't give a hoot What fairy tale do ghosts like best? Sleeping booty What kind of spirits serve food on a plane? Airline ghostesses What kinds of ghosts haunt skyscrapers? High spirits Where do ghosts go swimming? The dead sea What's the difference between a fisherman and a sick ghost? One catches his dinner, the other one loses it What did the TV. news reporter say to the ghost? Everyone dead! Boos at 11 Why is a haunted handkerchief so scary? Because it has boogers What kind of footware do ghosts from Texas wear? Boots What do you call a dead chicken that likes to scare people? A Poultrygeist |
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